How to do Political Slime

File Under: The Art of Politics

You want to know how to create political spin? It’s honestly super easy. First, take something that’s really OK, like Laura Bush appearing on a Katrina-related episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Let’s just look at a quote from the article for now:

Laura Bush will travel to storm-damaged Biloxi, Miss., to film a spot on the feel-good, wish-granting hit “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” Mrs. Bush sought to be on the program because she shares the “same principles” that the producers hold, her press secretary said.

Nothing to slime, right? It’s all good and dandy. Well, Laura Bush is the wife of a REPUBLICAN President. If you want to slime, try to act like a DEMOCRAT. (this can be easily reversed, with minimal difference) Hhhmm… Extreme Makeover is a TV show, right? And we all know the highest public officials have alot of security. And it’s a troubled region… And can’t she be doing other stuff? So we take those thoughts, and we try to expound upon them in a paragraph of our own:

Laura Bush is only concerned about appearing on national television to save face for her husband and the Republican party. At a time when the nation needs leadership, Mrs. Bush hopes that people will change their opinions through a feel-good TV program. And though it may look good when they edit the episode, the First Lady has an absurd amount of Secret Service protection, funded by YOU, the taxpayer. Do you feel good that she’s spending YOUR money to appear on a television program? We all know you’re a librarian, Mrs. Bush, not a builder. Maybe you can appear on Stacked instead.

It’s slimy and horrible, right? Well, maybe, depending on your political mindset. And it sounds convicing, mainly because I played the “YOUR tax money” card. That always gets peoples attention. You can say “they paid for toilet paper with YOUR tax dollars. How does that make you feel, that your hard-earned money is paying for toilet paper?” It’s easy. And it sounds profound, and it makes you ANGRY, doesn’t it? They’re spending money on TOILET PAPER! Wait, isn’t that a necessity, something they’d probably need in buildings? Oh, yeah. We kinda forgot about that.

The art of political spin and slime is a very intruiging artform indeed. Lots of times, the people doing the spin are dispicible, depending on what they’re saying. But understanding the artform, they are very clever, smart people. So when you hear a flat-out political lie, and you say “how can someone be that stupid?”, remember, they’re NOT that stupid. They’re extremely smart, and they know exactly what they’re saying. (unless it’s Ted Kennedy. Then, well, all the rules change!)

More on the art of politics in the distant future.


3 Responses to “How to do Political Slime”

  1. Mark Says:

    The federal government has no Constitutional warrant to be spending money on toilet paper for hurricane victims. (That would be a good job for charities, however.) I can see it as an overhead for federal buildings, but otherwise it’s phui.

    It’s absolutely ridiculous for Democrats to complain about unconstitutional spending, of course, but nonetheless the vast majority of expenses incurred by Congress these days are illegal. I could care less whether or not the First Lady is on a publicity stunt, though I wonder why they need cameras rolling when doing charity work. But that’s my inherent distrust of politicians showing through.

    Speaking of which, it’s really not that difficult to tell when a politician is lying. Just check to see if his lips are moving.

  2. Erika Says:

    So chuck, are you arguing for or against her being on the show?

  3. eChuckler Says:

    If you can’t tell, then I’ve done my job.

    Unless I feel REALLY compelled, all of my “political” posts will more on the NEWS aspect of politics, or on the art of politics, like we had here.

    Laura Bush on Extreme Makover: Home was a conventient example. I’ve been conteplating doing a post similar to this one for quite some time now.

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